9 month old nurses all night long

by An. - Answer by Heidi Holvoet, PhD

Question:

Our nearly 9 month old has never been a good sleeper - occasionally he will do a single four hour stretch in the night - but that has been far and few between. He has suffered (in the past) from intolerances to food that I have eaten and I think that set him up to want to eat all night long.

Technically he stays in sleep mode from about 7pm to 6am BUT he nurses many many many many times in the night. Lately it has been too many times to count- just one long nursing festival. We co-sleep and have since birth. I find it easier to nurse in the night this way.... maybe this is the problem but I have many friends who breast feed and co-sleep and their babies sleep a good 5 or 7 hour stretch.

The baby's father usually puts him to sleep through walking and rocking and he sets him down nearly asleep. He almost always wakes 45 minutes later and my husband puts him back to sleep again.... after that he usually nurses at 9, 11, 1 (sometimes at 12 too), then 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30 and up at 6.

I feel like I am loosing my mind - if I don't feed him he screams!

He takes 2 good naps a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The afternoon nap he usually breastfeeds in the middle or else he wakes up after 30 minutes and won't go back to sleep. I don't want to resort to a cry it out option - the health implications for the baby (raised heart level, adrenal glands etc) concern me.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

Heidi's Answer:

Hi,

Big hug of support to start as these are rough nights indeed! 🤗 So let's see how to improve and have your little boy nurse less at night. I agree with you 100% about the crying it out and luckily you will not need to.

Have you eliminated the foods that seem to trouble him? Does he still show any other symptoms? It would definitely be good to eliminate that as a cause, as far as it is possible. Also consult your doctor if you haven't already to exclude any other medical cause.

With the following steps you can start reducing the night feeds gradually. As you may have expected, it will not happen overnight, but you will most probably see the first results pretty quickly.

We work on reducing night feeds inside Overcome Frequent Waking in detail but here's a first overview:

1. Progressively reduce night time food intake. This actually starts with increasing daytime food intake - This does NOT mean stuffing before bedtime (as that leads to un-restful sleep) but nicely spread throughout the day.

Then when nursing at night, keep the feeds as dim and dull as possible (but I don't expect you to make them a feast anyway ;)) and gradually reduce the amount he drinks.

2. In a next phase, for those waking feeds that haven't disappeared in the previous step yet, and you need to progress further, you'll reduce the number of times you feed. You can write down a night-schedule. Decide which wakings will be "no-feed wakes". You keep the rest as is now and feed as usual, but keep them short, as we said above.

At the no-feed wakes:

- If possible, ask your husband for help. He clearly does a great job at placing your son down to sleep in the evening, so if he could do this at night too, that would be great.

Your son is probably on your side of the bed, so you may have to trade places with your husband when he wakes up, or you can leave the room.

If your husband is not up to this at night, it can work too, only it may be a bit harder. Then you rock, hold or walk him to sleep but do not nurse. Always stay in the room, keep lights dim and do not interact with him (except for maybe patting or shush-noises).

With both options, your son may be ok straight away, or it may take a few tries. It's important to know this and remain consistent: do not give up after a few nights. Your son is adjusting and learning so allow him ample time to make these transitions.

It may also be very difficult for your little boy to settle without feeding at all. I do recommend taking a small step back then, and focus more on Phase 1 i.e. reducing the amount he takes first.

Also verify your own diet for stimulating foods like coffee, tea (even green and white tea contain caffeine), chocolate, high amounts of sugar/aspartame or smoking. Avoid them overall and at least from early afternoon as they get into your milk too.

As you mention co-sleeping, I must remind you of the co-sleeping safety guidelines because your baby's safety is of course the single most important priority.

Good luck, hang in there, it will get better!
Kindly,
Heidi